12.17am

My creative spark

has died

like the fire

at nights

end

Like the summer blooms

in winters cold hand

Insiprations have

blown away

in his winds

I am without purpose

Lost

Litter rushing down the pavement

in a breeze

I crave something

Desire something

Need something

but I can’t quite

see around the corner

I sit down

and give in

Let my creativity die

 

I must hold on though

I must

Winter is only a season

not my whole life

I can survive

I can survive

I can find what I am looking before

See what is hidden

All will be revealed to me

if I just

go on

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Re-awakening

The wind is blowing the right way

I can feel it in my heart

The roses are blooming there again

Dead petals blown away

I’m alive again

Blood flowing in my veins

and

in my heart

Blood inside me

instead of cold metal

 

The clocks are ticking once more

No longer stuck at the dead hour

The train is running on the tracks

I’m alive

I can cry

Scream

Feel joy

 

I am alive

My corpse has reanimated

I am ready to take on the world

 

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Lies

Old bitch nostalgia

making me cry

about  things

that were never

that great

in the

first place

The trees whispering

“remember when you were a kid

remember,

remember”

Oh the wounded knees

and climbing in the trees

Bright mornings filled

with promise

no chains of

adulthood

Oh and the crying

Crying

Wishing to be old

Crying

Crying

Crying

No friends

No friends

Oh nostalgia you old cow

Making me forget the bad times

The past was good

The past was good

 

 

 

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26 June 2017

Women

extinguished

Empty

eyes

She is

blue

asphyxiations

hue

I want to kiss her

Return her

Frog to man

Girl to life

This isn’t a book

though

She wont come back

I will never again

hear

her heart

beating

against mine

I want to kiss her

Wrap her up

She is so cold

Why aren’t they putting a blanket on her?

She must be freezing

I want to kiss her

Why are there cuffs on my hands?

I want to kiss her

I did not do this

NO!

My hands did not do this

She is so cold

I did not do this

Please can I just kiss her

I’ll breathe in new life

Bring her back from the blue

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25 June 2017

Quiet

No traffic

The streetlights bathing

the road in amber

Naked trees tremble

in a chilling winters breeze

This is the calm before the storm

The bang

The end of the world

Something will break this peace soon

I am just waiting for the asteroid

that flash in the sky

That pop

when the cork flies

from a giants champagne bottle

A pop

then silence forever

endless

Silence

without the streetlights

glow

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24 June 2017

Concrete city

Is myself

I am its high grey walls

I smoke on the steps to parliament

and scream with delight at expensive designer shoes

I myself put myself in a box

and am morbidly afraid to be free

I want to run with the dogs

Let the child in me escape

She is trapped though

I hold her captive

Because I fear what people will think

She oozes out of the corners

But it is not enough

For my soul to be truly happy

 

I would like to

Jump in puddles

Be covered head to toe in mud

Dance with the leaves

Lay on the ground with a book and not care

 

I need to break down the walls that

Hold me captive in concrete city

I have seen a hammer

And a pick

I just need the energy

And the willpower to break down the walls

That society has built for me

And be free

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Little death

She picked him up  on her way home from work. The sky was threatening thunder and the shadows were beginning to fall. He looked crazy under that light but he also looked like something she needed.  The boyfriend at home was forgotten in that moment. She had a sudden desire to taste something different. She blamed it on the sky, it had that kind of electricity about it, the kind that saps into your pores.

He stepped into the car. A school boy face with high cheekbones and bedroom eyes. Among all the beauty there was something terrifying in that face as well, she just couldn’t put her finger on what it was. He smiled at her and said nothing. His smile was beautiful but he looked possessed. A school boy who had, had a run in with the devil she instantly thought. This was why he looked wrong. Both parts of his soul seemed to fighting each other.

If he had been dressed like a vagabond she may have had the sense to leave him there when rain was threatening but he did not look wild. He seemed like a gentleman, she could not leave him there to get wet and cold.

When he stepped into the car she almost decided that she and her boyfriend where no more. She would marry this man, or at the very least be within him forever. Just looking at him sitting there beside her he seemed to be throbbing, wanting, needing flesh, she was not sure how he was that way but he just was. On second thought that may have just been herself, but  he smelled like old pennies, violets and crisp night air. He smelled of lust.  He smiled a devils smile and said  “Go on straight onward until we hit a right turn, from then I will lead the way” He spoke in a way that promised things, hotel rooms, airplanes, illicit things. There was a danger there as well, she wondered if he had a knife.

Thunder began to  clap as they drove. The rain began to fall and he watched the rain drops race each other down the window. “There is no real winners, he said, death catches us all.” She shuddered wondering if she was in danger. Her usual judgement had been clouded.They hit the turn and turned right. He spoke again, his eyes seeming to enter her even though she could not look at him. ” We drive on now, straight ahead unless I tell you otherwise.” She should have protested but she liked  his voice, it stung in all the right ways. They were headed in the wrong direction for  home, and for a brief moment she thought she should drop him of at the town they were soon to be passing through, but with that thought came the crushing feeling of loneliness. He couldn’t go, he had to stay with her. He was promising things, secret unspoken things.

They kept driving and suddenly the town came and went. He kept watching the rain. It had become feverish. Much like a lover who has been waiting for their love to return and when they did there were teeth and tongues. She felt this lust and wondered if her passenger felt the same. She had not looked at his face since he had entered the car. She was afraid to, not knowing what would take over her. He shifted in his seat and put his mouth to her ear “Pull over, he said hotly. She felt him throbbing and in hurriedly pulled the car to the side of the road.

He dragged her, kissing, out of the car and into the back seat. His kiss felt like death and life and his hands were hot. She  forgot about everything in that moment. There was no car, just the heaven of him. He sunk inside, this strange man, and she had no boyfriend then. She did not notice the blood that dribbled from her lips nor the pain of dying.

“I am the death darling,” he whispered. “I am here to kill you. Your soul will come with me soon and your body will stay here in decay.  I could prove I am death but you will feel it soon, on climax  all will come the end. The French call an orgasm the little death so it is fitting. I know you will fight me now that you know but I invite you to. Sometimes I can be fought. Sometimes people can come back from the brink. It is not always there time.”

She heard his words at the climax and tried to fight the enternal sleep but the curtain came down. She died knowing the reason why his face looked at war. He wore the pain of taking lives as well as the love for mankind

 

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